My Big Fat Romanian Adventure Pt. 3

Romania is a lot like Ke$ha.  It looks grimy from a distance, and you’re pretty certain if you touched it, it’d be sticky; when you get near it, though, it’s actually quite beautiful, there’s culture there, and art. 

Most of the time, at least.

This gives me both nightmares and daymares.

We finally had a weekend off where we were able to venture around Constanta (don’t ask about Bucharest, because fuck that place) and check out the Black Sea.  Having forgotten to bring my expensive camera, I was forced to use an iPhone camera, which, I’m not above admitting, works about the same.

The way in to the city was dominated with Soviet-era housing.  One of these buildings on its own was oppressive enough, but rows upon rows of them, with even larger structures housing hundreds of families, was terrifying for some reason. 

Eventually, we made it down to the beach.

The beach, I’ve heard, is topless in the summer.  In the winter, it’s the standard wind from the ocean cold.  Here’s a solid artsy shot of an actual rowboat that actual Romanians use to actually catch fish.  (there was a discarded beer bottle in the photo that we had to remove).

We hit a pier decorated in the latest of modern urban style.

Wub-a-lub-a-dub-dub! Am I right?

I still judge countries on their investment in infrastructure.  Roads suck?  Your country probably does, too.  However pretty this next shot at the end of the pier may be (and, it is), I had to remind myself that no one gave a shit about the condition of the non-touristy portion of the beach.  And, I reminded myself that by looking down and to the left, where someone had literally given a shit all over the pier.  Make no mistake, someone ate something undercooked, and we ALL paid for it.  Amongst the diapers, adult feces, beer bottles, and random trash, I’m pleased to say we only found one condom wrapper (significantly less pleased to report that we found the condom it once contained).

  Let’s pretend that all I saw was this lone sailboat instead.

Of interest, as we made our way off the beach, was this Romanian waterpark:

Made in the classic Fallout 4 theme.  Definitely contains ghouls.

If those were gas lamps, this would have been 9000 times cooler.

Further wandering took us through the town’s living area, where a lot of architecture was moored in Moorish design (you’re welcome).  Some of buildings standing have been there since the time of Vlad, with modern additions thrown on.  There was also an Escape House that advertised as one of the best in Europe (and which, I’m positive, if you didn’t escape, you were murdered and your kidneys were forfeit).

There were, of course, less than subtle hints that this city appreciated art.  While we started looking for somewhere to eat, we found this gem:

Not often you see a statue of Romulus and Remus.  No jokes here.  Legitimately cool.

As it turned out, this statue happened to be within walking distance of the local art museum (which was closed, our wanderings being outside normal business hours).

Just like Ke$ha; SHE IS A NATIONAL TREASURE.

If you’re wondering where we ate, we found a nice Greek place, located right next to a baklava shop (from which we purchased 1 kilo of baklava… and ate 1 kilo of baklava), located right next to a rub-and-tug erotic massage parlor.

Picture unrelated, I'm just a fan of Ke$ha.

-Son, for every one person that gets superpowers from a radioactive spider bite, there are 6 billion that just get cancer and die.