Adventures in Isolation: My 15-day Quarantine in Afghanistan (Pt. 2)

Day 4: #dontkinkshamemebro

Realizing, after a restless night, that my pathological desire to maintain introversion is highly contingent upon the availability of external sources of mental stimulation.  Namely the internet, video games, and books, though not necessarily in that order.  A marked lack of privacy and enforced socialization (tangentially, at least.  One cannot avoid interaction when essentially imprisoned in close proximity with other people) combined with an acute absence of customary forms of diversion and modern dalliances has forced my subservient extrovert into the fore, and my dominant introvert down. 

It IS fun to believe they're in a dom/sub relationship.  Introvert Dom loves to humiliate Extrovert Sub in public by demanding interaction.  Hmm, or is it the other way around?  What ever, don't psychologically kink-shame me.

There is a positive aspect to all this in the form of daily writing.  Not only has it become my retreat from the tedium of isolation, but I once again assert that writing (like any other creative outlet) is a muscle that needs be exercised for improvement.  Source:  Compare Day 1’s ramblings to this morning’s. 

Bear in mind, this revelation is slightly diminished by the fact that I woke up with Crazy Town’s Butterfly playing in my dreams, and slammed my head into the ceiling again. 

1045: The 15 of us have been collectively informed during our daily screening that our incarceration time has been reset to Day 1 due to the troop displaying symptoms.  When asked if his results were to come back negative for COVID-19, a one week turn-around time, will be reset to our original timeline; the answer was a resounding, “As of right now, no.”

1048: It’s raining now.  Because of course it is.

1115: We officially have operational washers and dryers.  Washer and dryer.  One each.

1417: This is for everyone in the back that didn’t hear it the first time:  Just like flight school, unless someone asks specifically about your Boot Camp experience, keep it to yourself you fucking plebe.

XXXX: Watched a test fire of the C-RAM, so I made an appropriate meme.

             

1720: It is official, our quarantime has been reset regardless of actual disease per CDC and DCCS guidance.  Today is now Day 2.

2152: Still raining, but I managed to revise and edit Chapter 1 of M6.  Added exactly 700 more words, and cleaned up some of the sloppy pacing.  Feeling pretty good about myself.  …let’s see how long that lasts.

Day 3.2: COVID boogaloo

Debating on whether my lack of quality sleep is more attributed to the arctic air blasting out of the (now clean thanks to a pressure wash and medical grade disinfectant) air conditioner, or the twin sized thermoplastic polyurethane innerspring/reticulated polyurethane foam ‘mattress.’  In either case, I woke up to the sound of gunfire, which wouldn’t normally bother me, but I’ve been in country for a week now and still have no ammunition. 

Makes me feel nekkers.

1100: Some Private dropped his food and left it there.  Whelp, it’s time to take the proffered room.  Previous remarks about my psyche notwithstanding, I think it best for my mental health if I spend the next 10 days away from these kids.  Well, that and if another person in the berthing container gets sick, it resets our time again and ya know… I just want to get started.  It’s been a month since I’ve been in a helicopter, this two-dimensional thing here on the ground ain’t my jam.

I JUST WANNA FLY.

1440: Oh Gods, autonomy is the best.  Great nap, improv-gym time.  Another leg day!

So much better.  If you guys from 2455A are reading this, I miss you, but like... not enough to give up this room.  I'm right down the road anyway.

        XXXX: Was just typing up my notes from the AMA, finishing up the question about IDF when we started taking rounds directly overhead.  How did I know it was directly overhead?  Funny you should ask.  As Joe and I were laying down in the hallway, the BRRRRRRT of our C-RAM was punctuated by debris from one of the rockets pattering all over our roof.  Further confirmation provided by a video of two C-RAM systems tracking rounds directly overhead.  I will admit that having a counter-IDF system makes the whole experience significantly less bowel-clenching.

Apparently, I react the same way to discarded apple cores as I do to a gaggle of Privates milling about just watching the light show as we take IDF.  In all fairness, I did the same thing my first time.  There were forceful orders and directions given.  I may be referred to as Angry Chief from now on, but everyone is safe, and I can live with that.  Bet they’ll move faster next time.

Not an adequate substitute for flying, but I’ll take an adrenaline jolt wherever I can get it.

Does that make me crazy?

Day 4.2

I slept GREAT.

Day 7

Let’s do the time warp agaaaaaaaain.  No, I did not skip two days, our wayward plague bearer has been asymptomatic for the past few days, and if he continues in good health, our quarantine will resume on the original timeline per CDC guidance.  What a roller-coaster.

Also, it was leg day again.

We managed to wrangle a projector, so movie night is a possibility as long as the weather holds out.

Day 8

It is still raining.  I have dipped into my emergency tea stash.  One of the guys did put on a mix of late 90’s rap-rock (ft. Crazytown, Limp Bizkit, and Cottonmouth Kings), so at least I finally got Butterfly out of my head.

"Raprock band with a DJ? Somebody tell this band what year it is."
"Haha, they're kidding.  He just means the business is tough, that's all."
"I mean I haven't heard a note from you guys, and I don't like anything about you.  That's what I mean."

Day 9

The rain has taken a short hiatus, but left devastation in its wake.  I shared about two weeks worth of tea with our Czech allies, for which they seemed incredibly grateful having only been able to drink Army issued Lipton.  

The humanity.  ...or lack thereof.

          Our resident Medic managed to secure me some amazing new supplies to restock my kit.  Yes, I am well aware of the astronomically low odds that I’ll ever use any of it (especially the Cric kit), but if Batman is carrying around shark repellent just in case, you can be damn sure I won’t be caught out.

Top Left to Right: Leatherman Trauma Shears, Gerber multi-tool, seat belt cutter, Israeli bandages, tape, combat gauze, regular gauze.  Bottom Left to Right: Emergency Cric kit, NCD's, chest seals, tourniquets.   

Packed into this awesome bag my dad got me.  Thanks, dad!

Day 10

STILL.  RAINING.

Thinking about that Facebook meme saying “The 4^th person you @ is your quarantine buddy.”   

These dudes are okay, I guess.  #quaranteam

 

Day 11

Another kid got sick, so they’re taking our temperatures twice a day now.  98.1 and 98.6.  Tonight was movie night.  Jon Wick; excellent movie, confirmed I still have it bad for tattooed, dark haired, rockabilly girls.  Then, I watched Pride and Prejudice on my own, because Jane Austen is a treasure and Elisabeth Bennett is my spirit animal. 

Day 12

Allergy season is upon me.  I have reached the point of congestion where I’ve forgotten what it feels like to breathe normally.  However, as COVID-19 consists of a dry cough and flu like symptoms, I’m alright.  Less alright that we’ve been informed of another day added to our incarceration for reasons.  While this is extremely frustrating, it does what it’s told or else is gets the hose again.

Day 13

Thinking about telling everyone that the whole being in Afghanistan thing is my April fool’s joke.  I’ve actually been playing piano in a Parisian bordello for wine and free rent.  Honestly though, what kind of jackasses have a gunfight at 0300.  They need to chill the hell out outside the gate.  Mood may be slightly sullied by the fact that I’m 72” tall, sleeping on a 74” ‘bed’ with a permanent dip in the middle.  Apparently, thermoplastic cannot handle the heat of this body.

Day 14

0730: It is raining.  Current internal temperature: 98.1 (The STURGE; coming at you with the greatest hits of the 80’s, 90’s, and early 2000’s.  It’s 7.30 and we’re live with Jonny and Joe in the Morning to get you through your A.M. drive).

1145: I have made friends with a bird we call Charlie.  He prefers boiled egg-whites but will accept bread in a pinch.  While he has yet to eat out of my hand directly, he did wait patiently about six inches from me while I tore some bread apart for him.  I suppose this is fortunate, as bird flu is not a welcome alternative to COVID-19.

1200: Charlie has had his fill of bread and left with a thank you squawk (at least, he squawked and that is what I choose to imagine).  As much as these past few weeks have sucked in general, there has been good company and Air Force grade toilet paper (much more comfortable.  Gotta hunt the good stuff).  All in all, still a better deployment than last time.

                2214: All my bags are packed (again), I’m ready to go (again).  But it looks like we’re going to be waiting on a ride for a few more days.  Tomorrow there will be much in the way of exploring our surroundings. 

Total score for this deployment so far: Jonny 1, IDF 0