Literary Return

The biggest sin of blogging (as I've been led to believe) is to go a time without posting, then following up the return post with apologizing for not posting.  So, you can tell that slimy piece of worm-ridden filth, he'll get no such pleasure from me.

  

Thus far, it has been a long deployment.  If anyone was looking for an excuse to why it's been just shy of year since my last post being in Afghanistan is my current (read: only) excuse.  Still have plenty of time left, and as the fortunate boredom persists, ideas abound. 

A while back, I extolled the virtues of Bioshock Infinite.  Recently, about 4 years after it's initial release and a self-imposed ban on gaming (which will continue indefinitely, only broken because I was interested in the story that was to be told), I played through Bioshock 2.  Ignoring the game itself, the story drew very interesting, very poignant parallels to that of Infinite - which makes sense considering the entire plot of Infinite, but that's not why we're here today.  

The whole point is that the protagonist to most video games, to most books, to most movies, are Heroes (or Heroines) with a capital H.  They are forces of nature, they are an individual surrounded by atypical companions equally unique and special in their own right, and they are changing things on an impossibly grandiose scale.  Which is fine if you are trying to shape mythos, but not okay if that Hero is veiled under the illusion of an Jonny Everyman.  The challenge of successful story telling, at some point, becomes relatablity vs actually doing something interesting.  

Trader was fun in that his actions didn't have world changing consequences.  He still had adventures while maintaining a degree (a very small degree) of familiarity.  I still had to give him a leg up in the intelligence and luck departments, as well as the standard non-standard unique companions.  And while Trader is now AVAILABLE ON AMAZON! I still have a ways to go in figuring out the writing style that I'm striving to achieve.  

With that, I'm probably going to do a few steampunk style short stories.  The genre has always interested me, at least the cosplay aspect, and I figured I'd dabble for a bit just to try something new.  Accordingly, I've dragged my father into it with me by introducing him into that world.  It's a slippery slope, he just doesn't know it yet.

And, because of the machinations of my Editor (without whom, I would have never finished Trader) I've been introduced to so many more books that I'm thoroughly enjoying.  Particularly: The Phantom Tollbooth.  Such a fun read, so much craziness and amazing wordplay.  It's for kids, but if you can read it and not have fun, I weep for you.

There are several others that I'd like to bring up, but I'm keeping these posts short.  People hate the long ones.  

She hasn't made anything official, and she'll probably want to kill me for bringing it up, but there may be a children's book in the works about the adventures of a hedgehog named Steve.  She started it, hopefully we'll finish it.  It'll be short, for kids, and a lot of fun.  I'm looking forward to it, another in a series of new directions.

That's all for me, expect updates to be forthcoming.  Probably more coherent as well.  

"Love is just a chemical.  We give it meaning by choice." -Eleanor Lamb

A Few Interesting Developments

Before I even start today's (very past-due) post, I need to thank the 200 something people that visited the site in the span of a day to get my numbers up.  You guys are friggin' great.  Also, regular great.

This week's recommended reading:  Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.

Look, if you haven't read anything by Terry Pratchett, you are doing yourself a disservice.  Put down whatever poorly written tome you're currently investing yourself in, and grab literally anything written by this man.  His talent for satire is unsurpassed.  If you aren't well read, you'll miss layers upon layers (onion, not parfait.  Boom, Shrek reference.  Suck it 2001 [layers!]) of word play and parody.  Even if you don't get the references though, he is always on point for entertainment.

I don't even know where to start with Neil Gaiman.  Everything he touches turns into mind blowing, weapons grade literature.  He gets more BBC specials than Doctor Who, even boasting several movies (re: Stardust), AND writing a few Doctor Who episodes.  Can you imagine how badass that has to be? No, you can't.  That's how bad ass it is.

He beat someone up with the cup...
Then stole the belt.

Get this book.

Speaking of good reads, an up and coming writer, friend, all around awesome mother*****, Brad Newton has granted me privilege to read the beginnings of his latest short.  Part 1 is here, followed by Part 2.  I'm generally pretty critical of stuff people send me, you know, to cull the weak, eliminate competition, sometimes I just feel like being a dick, but Brad is talented.  Our styles are different, but I won't lie, I'd team up with him on a co-lab.

Biggest news comes from Enasni Volz; E's fan flick with her main squeeze Puddin (heh, it's funny that I know his real name but I find it difficult to call him anything else), Mad Love has made its kickstarter goal!  As Joker and Harley, they already rock.  Now they get to be all sorts of awesome on screen.  Keep up with the both of them to ... keep up with them.

How can you not love them?!

In lesser news (though, still frightfully important), Global Lion got my partial for Trader.  Zack Y. (who is pretty much the nicest dude in the industry that I've found) has officially stoked my ego by calling my writing stellar.  His presentation to my possible agent is happening soon. His only caveat was that I get my social media presence out there.  I know I ask a lot of you beautiful people, but start Tweeting and Facebooking (and to a lesser extent, Myspacing) about Trader.  This is going to happen.  Shit is about to get real.

Oh, to keep you motivated, My Own Cel (the story of Trader's psychotic ex-girlfriend) now has a pretty damn good plot, if I do say so myself.  That's right, book two of the Trader saga is on its way.  In the meantime, going to really apply myself to M^6, as I've finally (and accidentally) come up with some interesting story that I want to work in.

I adore you guys.

Mostly him though.

Eddard Stark's Losers of the Week

Cosplaying as a Nazi is a dead give away.

Eddard Stark’s Losers of the Week

Our first Loser of the Week is one Christopher Jason Ross.  The full article, written by a wonderful cosplayer, can be found here. 

Down and Dirty: This guy is a creep on a whole next level.  Trolling for cosplay girls, acting like a douche, then acting like an even bigger douche, vomiting his emotional garbage, showing a scary broken-mental-state side, and ending his tirade in douchery. 

I know most of my friends who read this are big into cosplay, or the military, so I’m personally asking that if you run into this guy or any guy like him at a con, close the distance, engage, and destroy.  

Fuck this guy.  And his balls.

There is no room for people like this.  Not anywhere, especially not at cons.  Please please please keep your friends safe.  Remember, cosplay is not consent.  We work so well as a community of nerds because of the common denominator of respect.  Assholes like this don’t belong anywhere near us.

Eddard’s judgment:  Castrate him.  Then send him to the Wall.

But he has the balls to keep wearing
the uniform.

Up for the number two spot is PV2 Christopher Munoz.  You can find him on facebook, or the support page that I think his mother set up.

Down and Dirty: This man is a coward.  Upon receiving orders to deploy, he claimed status as a conscientious objector.  When inundated with a lot of hate, his mother or wife or whatever called racism, spouting crazy shit like there were entire regiments of Mexicans fighting separately in the Army.  Now they are trying to get support for a petition to let him honorably discharge, with full benefits.

Ahem… Fuck you.  Personally, CO’s aren’t bad people.  Check out cracked.com, you can see highlights of the most badass examples of people who would not fight, but neither are they cowards in any sense of the word.  And that makes sense, because up until the end of Vietnam, we had a draft.  This has been a volunteer Army for a while now, in a time of war.  In fact, when you sign up, they ask you several times whether or not you are a CO.  When you swear your oath, the words “…without any mental reservation…” appear in there.  This kid – who has not deployed – just wanted the benefits, and now that he has to earn what millions have before him, doesn’t want to play anymore.  And he STILL thinks he’s entitled to everything that a veteran is.  As far as the racism thing goes; I’ve served with and for men blacker than Don Cheatle, Whiter than Richard Nixon, and more Hispanic than Che Guevara.  We don’t care what proportionality of the nation our demographics represent.  All we care about is whether or not you are worthy, capable, and brave enough to wear the uniform.  This man is a coward, plain and simple.

Eddard’s judgment:  This man broke his oath...

In the name of Robert
Baratheon, the first of his name...

In other news, here’s the recent response I got for a query:

“Your query regarding “Trader” has been evaluated. This story is an excellent example of many of the greater aspects of humorous science fiction. An unapologetically flawed protagonist, his quirky acquaintances, and the air of misfortune he can’t quite seem to shake off. Seems highly reminiscent of stories like Buck Godot: Zapgun for Hire. You’re clearly passionate about your work, you have an excellent tone, and there’s no doubt as to your understanding of the genre. If you’d like to send along additional information regarding the book, such as a sampling of the manuscript, an author biography, and any social media you may have established in support of the book, I would be glad to investigate your story further. Mr. Miller isn’t altogether interested in science fiction works at the moment, but if your manuscript is of the caliber implied by your synopsis I will compile the information for presentation. Please send this information either to this email address or queries@globallionmgt.com for further review. If you have not previously considered social media outlets like facebook, tumblr, etc. for self-promotion of your works, I recommend doing so. It is an important step in assisting oneself in pursuing publication, and it will make it easier both to find a representative and convince a publisher to go forward with the work. I wish you the best in these endeavors.

This guy looks hella classy.

Additionally, a Time Magazine article featuring one of our clients, Sir Ken Robinson, is enclosed regarding his book, “Finding Your Element,” which will be on the New York Times bestseller list June 16th.”

…Winning… 

JC out.

This Week in Entertainment

Featured: Boobs.

Deadpool:  A game review.

He slices, he dices, he breaks down the 4^th wall.  Deadpool is back (was he ever really gone?!) in his own game about his own game. 

Published by High Moon Studios (makers of the forgettable Transformers games, sorry Erin), Deadpool is your less than standard 3^rd person hack and slash.  Not less than standard in terms of quality, I mean in terms of this is not your regular video game.  At all.

Plus, a whole lotta
exploding Gambits.

If you love Deadpool, you’ll understand the humor.  If you don’t, you will.  As far as hilarity goes, this game delivers, without fail, laughs.  From DP cooking pancakes, to the song ‘Who the Fuck is That?” this may surpass Borderlands for sheer hilarity. 

Also, that ASS.

Plus, it allows to you to be the superhero you’ve always wanted to be.  Feel to constrained by being an Avenger?  Not allowed to kill anyone because you belong to the X-men?  Well fuck all that.  Deadpool doesn’t care about Super-villain monologues, dramatic posturing (other than from himself), elaborate schemes (again, other than his own), or any of that too thick plot crap.  Nope, when confronted with a bad guy, gal, whatever, like Vertigo, he makes his great D-list villain jokes, then shoots her right between the eyes.  Because FUCK Vertigo, that’s why.  Witty, mouthy, badass-y, Deadpool don’t take no shit from no one. 

So we won’t hold the whole ‘Canadian’ thing against him.

Buy it, worth every damn penny (especially to watch him punch Mr. Sinister right in the dong).

Every reason you need to watch this.

The Haunted World of El Superbeasto:  A movie review.

Rob Zombie wrote, and probably directed, El Superbeasto in the 90’s.  I might need to do some fact checking, but I’m too lazy.  Doesn’t matter, it’s amazing.  And it’s based on a comic.

For zombie Nazis and demons, there’s no better movie out there.  Not even Dead Snow.  Because they’re Norwegian, that’s why. 

Yes, that is pickled Fuhrer.

It’s the tale of washed up A-list celebrity / luchadore El Superbeasto, his adopted sister Suzy X (the x is for extra boners, it says so in the song), thin nerd bent on world domination Dr. Satan, and the girl you think about when you’ve got your wiener in your hand Velvet Von Black. 

Highly recommended if you miss the days of Rocco’s Modern Life or Ren and Stimpy.  Funny, deadpan, worth the hour and twenty minutes.  It’s on Netflix.

That’s all, I couldn’t really think of anything else to write this week, so I went with that.

A great cosplay idea.  BTW the gun is set to 'Shut Up Bitch'

Had a sweet-ass dream (unfortunately, not a sweet ass-dream) about dry rain, and two lovers so intense that it set the world aflame, and they didn’t stop until they were naught but ash – seriously, that’s what the narrating voice said, I can’t make this shit up.  So, I’ve got some better ideas for Marcus and Marlin Mardis: Master Monster Murderers.  Expect some more to come out for that soon.

Still waiting on… 12 more agents to tell me yay or nay for Trader.  3 rejections in three weeks.  Not really worried, but not really hopeful either.  The guy who wrote The Pelican Brief said that for every 10 manuscripts he wrote, only 1 was good.  Guess I gotta get my ass in gear.

Have a great week peoples.

New work out is posted.

Happenings, Doings, Shameless Promotions

It's been a long few weeks.  Dragon Con looms on the horizon.  Books are being written.  Things are being made.  Laws are being passed.  People are doing pretty awesome stuff.

Aw yeah!

Gambit

So here's my line up for Dragon Con 2013 (and you better be following the workout.  It's working out, or so say some people.  I remain skeptical):

Who doesn't love Toki?

Gotta steal a monkey.

As far as books go, Book 2 of Trader might be a thing.  I can't stop thinking about how crazy Cel is, and how she should have her own story.  M^6 might merge with Ariana, but it'd be a stretch.  I just can't not write.  There's so much going on in my head.

The printer works!  Also, finally figured out the whole molding/casting process.  Working on Mass Effect weapons at the moment, and working out the kinks to the whole endeavor.  More pics to follow on that, it takes time, but if you wanna see something specific, let me know.  I still want to do some characters (like Cassie Hack), so this deployment, while not very busy, will be at least productive.  Expect to see merch at Demarr's booth.  Some of you are getting them for free.

DOMA is dead.  This is possibly the greatest civil rights event in our generation (the Y generation) that we'll live to see.  Some of the dumbest fucking things I've heard in favor of DOMA is that A: Traditional Marriage is between a man and a woman.  B: God does not approve of gay marriage.  C:  So gays are okay now?  They're going to sleep with children, where's it going to end?

A: 'Traditional' marriage, the form that we are most familiar with these days, came from the middle ages when marriage was a form of contract.  That's right, back when women were mostly property and men needed to secure land holdings.  Don't forget to beat your wife.  Dumbass.

B: First of all, marriage in the United States is a civil matter.  Which is why you can do it in a court room.  I fail to understand what the fuck God has to do with any part of it, especially when there's that whole 1st Amendment thing.  Freedom of and FROM religion.  Oh and going back to the middle ages, monks used to join in civil unions (with other monks) blessed by the Pope.  The guy with the direct line to God.  So... tell me about traditions again?

C: Being gay isn't some weird disease that forces you to have sex with other gays (or other people, or children) any time, any place.  Like us straight folk, they have standards (theirs are usually much higher though, that's why they work out all the time).  But, like us straight folk, yeah, some of them are pretty fucked up.  PEOPLE are the common denominator when it comes to doing horrible things to other people.  Don't blame it on a group.

Which provides a segue into the whole Pork Bullets thing.

There is no Shermer
Illinois

Taffeta posted a week ago about these morons selling bullets laced with pig blood to send muslims to hell.  Some of the responses she got were mind numbingly stupid.  So here's a message to everyone who thinks they have a valid opinion on the matter:  Extremists come from all walks of life.  Hardcore Christians are just as bad as Hardcore Muslims when they get all worked up.  Also, if you aren't a solider, don't make assumptions about what soldiers want, do, or think.  Finally, traveling the world (in a recreational, business, and peacekeeping/warfighting aspect) for the last 10 years has given me some pretty decent insight when it comes to people.  Basically, people, at their very core, are vicious, cruel, and above all fearful.  The only thing that brings us up to the level where we can interact with each other, is knowledge.  The more w
e learn, the less there is to fear, less to misunderstand.  In the age of information, ignorance is a choice.  Hmm...this is getting preachy.  Anyway, check her out, she's a pretty cool chick.

Okay, last thing, I promise.  (Trying to make up for lost time).

Ensani Volz is doing something awesome.  If you love Harley Quinn and Joker (and who doesn't) check this out.  Mad Love is going to be effin amazing.

No more preachy-ness, I promise.  Just felt like ranting.

Return to Normalcy

After much, much toil, Trader is finally finished.

I’ve even sent off submissions to 7 different literary agencies.  To be perfectly honest, I only want SGJA.

Now I can take a break and ya know, work.  No serious writing for a bit.  Definitely more updates to the blog though. 

Not too soon… I spilled water on my comp and I need wait for it to dry out.

In the meantime, the new work out schedule is up.  WEEK 3!!! 

Dragon Con Prep and Lady Creepers

90 Days till Dragon Con

Bulema's not an option, tubs.

Brandon Adams, one of my pilots, gave me a 12-week program just in time to start for Dragon Con preparation.  He’s been using it and this man is just beastly.  I’ve seen him, with my own fascinated eyes, leg press 1400 pounds.  Multiple times.  So, every Monday, I’ll post up the week’s work out here.  Don’t be afraid of the super-sets.  They can be done, but ensure you have a designated driver because I want to die right now.

Go get ‘em studs and lady-studs (studettes?).

Okay, onto more pressing matters. 

Mowing the lawn post-workout, without my shirt, another ‘fairly odd’ thing occurred.  Now, you’d think I’ve learned my lesson about people being weird about me when I’m shirtless.  Nope.  I was objectified in a manner that I’m not entirely comfortable with.

A house adjacent has a fairly young couple who routinely invite people over.  Several times now, there has been a gathering of ladies outside when I mow my backyard – which takes the better part of an hour.  The scene I’m painting right now is me, rocking out to some sweet Ace of Base on my ipod, sweaty, grunting, and because Texas is the Australia of America, covered in no small amount of spiders, mosquitoes, and ants.  Doesn’t sound very attractive.

Remember them?

When I finished mowing, one of the women detached herself from the group, approached me with a lemonade (not roofied, but total cliché), then proceeded to inform me that watching me was a group treat because I was “tasty.” 

Getting ogled by complete strangers ain’t cool.  Every ounce of machismo in me was like ‘fuck yeah,’ while the rest of me was like ‘bitch back up, I’m mowing the lawn.’  The only strangers I want leering at me are Con strangers, cause I can leer right the hell back.  Even then it’s at least mutual and respectful. 

I dunno…  Kinda put me off.  Ladies, thoughts?

Meh,I'd let him punch me in the junk.

Back to Con prep – people appreciate the male form!  There was one Johnny Cage cosplayer that had it perfect to a point that I wanted to walk up to him and ask in a completely hetero way ‘can I just look at you for a minute?’  You’ve got time! 

And now, I slumber, because if you couldn’t tell, I’m effin exhausted. 

Trader has 2 or 3 chapters left.  If you want an early manuscript, lemme know, I’d be more than happy for reviews.  Still looking for cover art.

This is what you'll end up looking like after DCon parties though...