Manchester: n.; A verbal wager, most often accompanying a difficult task where an individual has proclaimed either they are perfectly capable of performing said task, or an individual is told that said task is impossible (and the individual or group of individuals is too stubborn to back down), that, if accepted, must either be accomplished or that individual is subject to a swift kick to the balls.
e.g.: “Hey! Gentlemen, you aren’t allowed to walk on that field.”
(aside) “Manchester.”
Thusly, a multinational, multi-agency, and multi-branch mass casualty exercise was coordinated for the express purpose of confirming that: Yes, we can, in fact, walk on that field.
Apart from that, I’m learning much in the way of the social interactions of the local strays. They’re very territorial, unless the decide not to be. They usually travel in power couples, and our particular power couple (Littlefoot – so named for a malformed foot, and Whitefang - …he’s a white dog, sorry, that’s all we’ve got) makes it a point not only to run off ANY dog that approaches the neutral zone, but any humans they don’t recognize.
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| Littlefoot does, anyway. Whitefang is the much abused husband that backs his wanting-to-see-manager wife. |
1 – Fight Club: 3 asshole dog territory (that Whitefang occasionally stirs up trouble in to keep himself sharp).
2 – The Office: Whitefang and Littlefoot territory.
3 – The Edge of the World: There have been many documented sightings of multi-thousand strong murders of crows (always during twilight hours), shaggy brown dog, one very fast rabbit, dogs distantly related to Littlefoot, and Romanian Mig-23’s. Between The Office and The Edge of the World, a neutral zone has been established that allowed the unchallenged passage of most non-native dogs (seriously, Littlefoot stops RIGHT at the pavement and barks).
4 – Stray Cat Manor: I have no idea, they congregate there.
5 – Roadie’s Playground: Solid black dog that loves to lay in the middle of the !@#*ing road. Hence, Roadie. His significant other has yet to be seen.
6 – Unnamed: Look, I’m not going to lie, this area is kinda terrifying. It is patrolled by Scout (another possible relative of Littlefoot) and husband Fat Jack (and grimy and fat Jack Russel Terrier). Every time I’ve gone through, Scout has led the way with Fat Jack bringing up the rear.
7 – Dusty’s Domain: There’s been speculation that Dusty is a mob boss in charge of the entire MK stray dog population, as his wanderings have taken him through every territory unmolested. However, he seems to prefer guarding the gate to the airbase, attacking the tires of vehicles, running into traffic, and stopping in front of every car that goes through. Also, he’s a bit of a rapist.
8 – Cat Country: With the exception of Dusty, no dog enters cat country. I’ve seen Fat Jack chasing (or being led, now that I think about it) a cat at full tilt, only to completely stop and turn around at the border. Part of me hopes that the cat was leading him into an ambush.
9 – The Wilds: From The Wilds, random animals come and go, sometimes never to be seen again.
A - Espionage Proper, formerly Why the Fuck Would You Name This Icarus Park If It Isn’t A Park, formerly Icarus Park, formerly Holy Shit You Guys There’s Old Soviet Missiles Just Sitting In a Field (circa 2013): Apparently, it’s a scrap yard that’s counted as a sensitive area by Romanian intelligence, where the missiles, bombs, and discarded cockpit glass is sold to bidders (which I don’t believe because it’s been in the exact same place in the exact some configuration for at least 3 years now). You may be asking, “How did you find that out?” TLDR: Don’t take pictures of the bombs while dressed up as Deadpool. They’ll charge you for espionage.
**UPDATE**
- Littlefoot has taken up residence with Fat Jack within Cat Country. She is definitely pregnant.
- Dusty has not been seen in weeks and is presumed dead.
- We’re missing two kittens (Pink Nose and Black Nose) but Bitch Kitty is still around.
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